Written by: BTSADV Survivor
I was 17 years old back then. I was young, naïve, and thought that everyone had a heart like mine. Reality quickly taught me differently. I was a child that chose to be with a man that could’ve been my father. Nothing came good of that choice – except my two children; they are my blessings from God. I left him, found out I was pregnant, and I went back thinking my baby deserves to have what I didn’t. I also thought he was a changed man.
That lasted for so long then the verbal abuse got bad. I was always a whore, bitch, or cunt. I was told that I was as worthless as tits on a bill and that I was a scumbag or that I would suck a d*** for a cigarette and so much more. Before the baby came, I had been beaten with bottles.
I remember being thrown from a horse and being trampled. Being tortured and terrorized. Being put outside in the rainy cold weather with nothing but a t-shirt and underwear on. I remember trying to get in the car and being shot at with a BB gun. A dog attacked me on command. He stabbed me with pear knives and screwdrivers.
My hair would be so knotty that I could not brush it for weeks and my head was tender because of the beating I got. After the baby was born, there were many threats, and I wasn’t allowed to talk to any family. I had no friends. He had taken my life away. My kids didn’t know their family on my side until they were a few years old.
I don’t have any pictures of the abuse nor did I ever report it. That was a big mistake, but I am here today eight years later, and I think God I am. I also am happily married to a wonderful man that God sent to me five months later. We have four kids all together and counting. I did it, and you can, too. You can live your best life.
**If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, there is help. You can visit the Break the Silence website at www.breakthesilencedv.org, chat with one of our helpline advocates at 855-287-1777, or send a private message through our Facebook page.
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